So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
