highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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