Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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