What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
