super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize