Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
