that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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