She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
