I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
