In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
