Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
