What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
