just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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