Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
