Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
