just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Randomize
