this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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