Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
