Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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