I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
