so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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