Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
