you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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