his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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