so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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