Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
