Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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