so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
