There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
