Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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