Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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