is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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