Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I am naked and annoyed.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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