Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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