On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
