And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
