is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
