tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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