i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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