My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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