I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
