I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
