I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
