So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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