My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
