Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
barbara walters just said penis...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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