i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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