Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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