I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
