We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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