I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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