You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
