did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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