FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
