I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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