# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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