Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
