I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
